Fuzz is in the Wally Herald under the headline "Butcher Knifed His Mum in Bedroom Brawl."
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Get collered by Ian A on the number 5 bus and he spemds 50 minutes bragging about his sex life.
I get home to find mum hysterical as she has had a fist fight with granddad after he gobbed in Keymarket. I send them both to their room and wait for dad to come home.
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Go for a relaxing drink and I'm confronted by a pissed up Case who says I'm not fit to be player manager of the footy team and demands I resign. He may have a point so there's only one thing for it. Drop Case.
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There's fun and frolics on A division as Chris H and Babs have a stand up yelling match whilst Fluxie, in his unique management style, does nothing.
Chris spends the whole afternoon in with new manager Pete H exchanging opinions of how A division could be improved. At school we'd call it 'telling.'
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Granddad has taken to shaving in the living room mirror.
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The Royal Standard are managed by Fulham professional Gary Elkins whilst the Norman Knight are managed by me. In our last match with them we lost 13-0 so we're pretty pleased about only losing 5-3 today.
After the match we sink to new depths at the pub when Drover offers us the lager tray slops from a bucket and we all dive in.
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It is a disasterous start to the week as the wonderful Jackie O is off with flu so I'm stuck with Liz and Jo and their belching.
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Top evening at the pub. we win our darts and I win Clegg then have a heated row with Drover and Farmer Sheard about the Americans bombing Libya.
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I am in the wine bar with Prock, Pat and Ruby trying and failing to impress the new barnmaid with our patter. When we leave the barmaid follows us and says Gee says she has to tell me and Prock that we're not welcome back in his bar.
Prock goes mental and bolts back in the wine bar and tells Gee if he ever sees Prock in the street he should cross the road as Prock will kick his teeth in. It's very impressive.
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I wake up naked on the bathroom floor with a towel over me and wonder what I'm trying to achieve in life.
The folks cart me off to Purley to choose a bedroom in the new house they're buying. I don't want to move to Purley.
In the Head tonight Pat passes on a message from Gee that we're not barred and it was a misunderstanding. Obviously Prockie's charm worked.
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The darts league reaches a conclusion with us getting thrashed 7-1 by the Star at East Ilsley. No one gives a monkey's arse as we are having a great time getting legless on 6X and singing the Chicken Song.
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Wally Utd beat Binfield 3-0 ands we have clinched promotion. | 