Local authorities have today decided that 'toilet cam's are to be installed in public toilets to help reduce vandalisim and cottaging.

Recently installed 'blue tubes' to stop drug abuse in cubicals, making these public places unusable for the 'innocent public' simply don't work.  The only deterent it seems is live camera footage - indentifying all users.

A group of specialist CCTV Operators are to be employed who will be employed for their discretion as not everyone will maintain a high level of honesty when it comes to (what is deemed as) a somewhat voyeuristic job.  A local spokesperson said, "it's not the most pleasant job and it will take a certain breed of employee to watch members of the public using the facilities", "it is time the general public were allowed to use facilities safely.  Being monitored whilst using a toilet (urinal or cubicle) has been accepted in polls conducted, as this is preferred to finding needles and other associated items".

The council obviously opened this debate to local opinion and the only alternative was to charge entry, perhaps even reducing poll tax to 'balance' usage versus expected facilities.  The cost to install turnstiles, coin machines, changes machines etc., was more than web-cams, which were the preferred option after local referendum.

European fat cats today decided that yellow bananas are boring and the public are blinkered by nature and what it offers, particularly in view of genetic engineering and fashion trends and demands.

We should see blue bananas them in the shops early February 2007 and prices initially will be lower than normal yellow bananas to inspire purchases.  Shelf life is also extended due to the engineering techniques.  Unfortunately, they haven't been able to straighten the bananas yet.

Further reports will follow.......