Yorkshire English, in addition to the standard use of the words "anything" and "nothing" also has wide use of the contractions "owt" and "nowt"

Example 1
Standard English
"Have you done anything today?"
Yorkshire English
"Have you done owt today?"

Negative endings. In standard English negative phrases such as "does not" and "would not" can be contracted using an apostrophe to "doesn't" and "wouldn't" respectively. In yorkshire English a further contraction is made and these words become "dunt" and "wunt"

Example 1
Standard English
"I haven't seen anything of John for weeks, he hasn't been out for ages. Ever since his mum said he couldn't, he doesn't"
Yorkshire English
"I ant seen owt of John for weeks, he ant been out for ages. Ever since his mam* said he cunt, he dunt."

*mam is a common yorkshire variant of mum (or mom if you are American/Canadian)

Lesson 1
Spoken Yorkshire.
The word "the" is frequently replaced with what is known as a glottal stop, similar to a T but not as pronounced. "Go to" is simplified to "gu" These characteristics help reduce the length of needlessly long sentences.

Example 1.
Standard English
"Do you want to go to the pub?"
Yorkshire English
"Do you wanna gu' pub?"

The second person.
English has always had a problem with the second person, unlike many other languages there is no distinction between the way in which one addresses one person or a group of people. The word is always "you." Some clumsy ways of getting around this problem have been to say "you all" or "you lot" Yorkshire English however solves this problem simply and logically by forming the plural as for any other English noun, the addition of an "S"

Example
Standard English
"What are you all doing tonight?"
Yorkshire English
"What are yous doing tonight?"

 Right from the start I knew this trip was going to be something different, I had heard tales that the place was like walking into a 50s American movie and that there was no Coca-Cola, no levis nor any other familiar brands. I also knew that the country was communist. I had read that the people are all paid 30 US dollars a month with which they manage to survive because the country is so damn cheap compared to the western world.

On the plane (which we almost missed due to our laziness in the airport not going to the immigration desk) I read the magazine, which was full of the usual tourist garb and information on the food, particularly how wonderful Cuban sandwiches are. We’ll discuss that later. The in-flight entertainment didn’t work on any of the seats on our row; not that the entertainment looked interesting anyway.
Upon arrival in Cuba we had to try and get some money; luckily there was a cash machine in the airport, unluckily it didn’t accept my card so I had to borrow from Jonny. The taxi cost us 20 pesos convertibles, which are more or less worth US dollars so around £10 but it was a long way to Havana so that wasn’t too bad. The scenery on the journey was great, just as you’d imagine. One sign in particular that I found interesting said “Vamos bien” (we’re doing well).

We wandered the streets for a short while before we found our hostel, which in reality was just someone’s house where they let rooms. To get the landlady’s attention her neighbour outside simply shouted up at her balcony. The place seemed nice once we were inside but the landlady seemed a little bit surprised to see us so early in the day, as it turns out she had had so many visitors that she knew what times the planes arrived from all popular countries and expected us to be coming from England.

Later we left the house in search of a bank. The first person I asked offered to show me in person where the bank was which seemed a really friendly thing to do however when the first one didn’t accept my card he insisted on showing me several more places and wouldn’t leave me alone. Jonny got distracted by a couple of girls that started talking to him while I was led off by the man. We never found a bank that accepted my card and the man then started asking me to give him a dollar for his trouble and didn’t go away till I met up with Jonny and he gave him something to leave us alone.

Afterwards the girls Jonny had been talking to warned us about the Cubans and showed us around for a while. Whilst we had initially believed them to be Cuban it turns out that they were just students in Cuba; one of them was Guatemalan, the other Colombian. They took us to Havana’s chocolate “museum” which is actually a small café. The only museum claim it can make is that it has one small display cabinet in the corner. Like many of the shops we went to that afternoon we had to queue outside for a long time to get in, Cubans just love to wait it seems.

That afternoon we went to the Chinatown where there are no Chinese people and only a couple of Chinese restaurants. We went into a dodgy looking bar where we were greeted by two big black guys who kept asking us about ourselves and then one of them took it upon himself to invite himself to come and sit at our table, about 27 seconds later he started asking us to buy him a mojito (these cost 4 pesos convertibles / £2 each) obviously he wasn’t going to get one, when he realised this he then said he wanted a beer and later a soft drink. Eventually he recommended us a place to go in the night and I got him to go away by telling him if it turned out to be good and come back and buy him a beer. I can’t remember what I ate but it won’t have been anything special, nothing in Cuba is.

Later that night we went in a taxi to the place we had been recommended, Calle 23 in Vedado. There was very little there in the way of entertainment so we went for a wander down to the sea front malécon, there were lots of young people down there just loitering in the streets. We followed the general flow of a large group for a few moments before stopping and asking a couple of lads where they were going. They mentioned a place called Jonny’s and later a different place that we would need to go in a taxi to get to, we eventually opted to do that and they said they’d show us and hopped in our taxi too. After a ten minute plus taxi ride we got to this place that was kind of a strange estate with large walls around, it seemed like a private party for some rich family form the outside. Here is where we had our first problems; despite having paid the taxi these 2 guys expected us to pay them in to the place with its 10 convertible / £5 entrance fee. One told us “you don’t have enough money” so we went back outside to discuss this, after almost an hour we finally convinced them that we wouldn’t pay them in (they claimed to be too poor to get in – us too) they went away but only after I gave them 3 “dollars” (pesos convertibles) for their taxi back.

When we finally got into the party we weren’t able to but any drinks as we only had enough left for the taxi home. The party itself was huge; they had a live DJ and a huge stage with some 5 enormous TV screens. There were easily a few hundred people there too. There were very few foreigners there and those that were there were fellow Spanish speakers from Spain and Mexico so it didn’t feel particularly comfortable being there. The hoards of Cuban youths were all well dressed and seemed to all have a small fortune, the last thing I would have expected to see in a “communist” country and miles away from the people you see on the streets of Havana.

If memory serves the second day was the day we found a fair place to eat breakfast in, and after many mishaps in others later we eventually ate here 3 times. On the first occasion I had a famous Cuban Chiada sandwich which very good though it may be it is just cheese and ham, however I have to admit that the mix of layers of both jamon york and jamon serrano definitely add something.
This café had a little bit of class, the ageing waiter had a smile I found entertaining and the general ambience was very pleasing. I particularly enjoyed that every day there was a girl playing the piano, and she played it very well indeed. A Cuban favourite, a song we heard at least twice a day (why??) is “girl from Ipanema”

Music is where Cuba has Mexico beat hands down, the salsa bands playing in numerous bars and cafes are a sheer joy to listen too and I found it impossible to resist moving along to the rhythm, and I’m not a person that likes to dance. The aforementioned piano bars were great too and just walking down a street you will here various bands playing. All in all the music is literally unmissable but you wouldn’t want to anyway. On the other hand traditional Mexican music (if you can call it music), Banda is downright bad. All the songs sound the same and all of them painful. Worst of all Mexicans love it and know all of the songs off by heart. To be fair the pop music and Reggaeton is quite good.

We spent the next few days being typically touristy going to museums and such; these are well geared towards ripping tourists off in their prices with entrance fees in both Cuban pesos and Cuban convertible pesos. The convertible pesos as mentioned earlier are worth about 1 dollar each or 24 normal pesos. Despite this supposed conversion rate the entrance fees to museums are listed in both, for example the revolution museum costs nationals just 4 normal pesos (just shy of 8 pence) but 5 pesos convertibles (£2.73) meaning that foreigners pay over 35 times more. To make money matters worse I couldn’t get my card to work in a machine and eventually had to get money out in a bank using my credit card and passport and was charged 11.9% for the privilege; I got charged 447 US dollars (£226) for 400 pesos convertibles (£218).

We had several other awkward moments in this vein. The cinema was priced at 2 pesos (nationals for them convertibles for us). Despite our best efforts to spend national pesos we had to pay in convertibles, another man in the queue complained that he had to pay the full price of 2 Cuban pesos (4 pence /$0.80 Mexican Pesos) because the air conditioning was broken. I pointed out that somebody should provide me sexual services for paying 24 times more. Jonny’s obsession with doing everything by the guidebook got us into an annoying situation another night as we tried to find a place to eat that was just somebody’s house where they prepared food for a price. A man approached us and first asked us if we wanted women, then a bar, then various other things before he actually listened to what we were saying and took us to a different place where they offered food. We were originally quoted $16 but when our new guide’s back was turned the man at the door explained it was really only $10 if we could lose the man who accompanied us because he expected commission. Upon leaving, the persistent little bastard outside offered to show us other places and whilst Jonny was on the point of giving him money to leave, I was quite against the idea and had to negotiate firmly for him to piss off.

Cuba is far from all bad, we went to a beach nearby and it was gorgeous, white sand, palm trees and pale blue sea. So we, being typical Englishmen built a sandcastle complete with English (not British) flag. Shortly afterwards some locals came and helped us add the finishing touches and earned themselves a Cuban flag on there too.

On the way out to the airport home I finally asked a Cuban what they think of Castro. His opinion was that he thinks Castro “is purely selfish, all he ever wanted was to be the king of Latin America” he also told me that there is a national raffle to leave the country and that “90% of Cubans hate the system, everybody wants to leave.” Despite this Havana is covered with pro-socialist graffiti such as (translated) “Here’s hoping that Castro lives 80 more!” “Long live Socialism” and “George Bush: Assassin.” It is my opinion that Cubans get by on three things, 1 Ripping off tourists, 2 Music and 3 Sex. There is no such thing as a shy Cuban and everyone and his dog kept telling us how Cubans are the best etc and offering their friends, even sisters as prostitutes to us. It may even have been tempting if not for the fact that they were all just so damn ugly. The government has made it so that Cubans are forced to do all they can to get money off tourists, though it has to be said not by violent methods. As a consequence Havana proved to be the least relaxing holiday I have ever been on, the place is well worth a look, but the people spoil it too badly. It will be interesting to see what happens when the socialism dies.

Desde CUBA con amor.

Yesterday me and Jesse ("Jesse and I" for the non-commoners amongst you) went to Tequila the town where yes, you guessed it the famous drink comes from. The bus from the knackered old bus station cost just 35 pesos (£1.60) and took about two hours. When we got there we went in a few of the local shops where we were offered plenty of free samples (enough to get quite drunk, actually) we also did a tour around a tequila factory that is supposed to cost 150 pesos (£7.50) but being the tight bastards that we are we managed to sneak in and nobody even noticed despite us not having tags like the rest of our party. In the end we bought some drinks, I got a litre of tequila for just 50 pesos (£2.50) and I also bought another drink, a strong liquor made from coffee (for 30 pesos/ £1.50) which quite simply is genius as now I can combine my love for caffeine with getting drunk.

Fields of agave, the plant from which tequila is made.
Campos de agave, la planta de que se hace el tequila.

Last week, tuesday-thursday I went to visit my uclan classmate Jonny in Monterrey. The flight was reasonable at 1109 pesos (about £50) return, annoyingly though taxi fares bumped this up by about £30, though I did manage to get a "pirate taxi" (a bloke that illegally uses his car as a taxi, but charges less) from Monterrey airport to meet Jonny, that was a fun experience. Whilst in the city I got to see what the original TEC de Monterrey campus is like. It's quite similar to the one in Guadalajara actually but about twice the size. The security there is a bit lighter though, you just have to wave your card at a man rather than the electronic turnstiles we have in GDL.
The city itself seems good fun, a bit USA-like as many people say but still very obviously Mexican. We went out to a dodgy cantina bar one night and to a club called Havana that was full of the elite. Through the day we went to a couple of museums, one exhibition I enjoyed particularly was of experimental films by a Northern Irish (British) man whose name escapes me. Speaking of experimental films I got to star in the one Jonny was making for his course (or at least my feet did). Overall it was a nice relaxing midweek break, but the heat there is painful.

La semana pasada (martes-jueves) fui a visitar a Jonny, un compañero de clase inglés en Monterrey. El vuelo salió bastante barato a 1109 pesos (£50) ida y vuelta. por desgracia gasté más en taxis, como 600 pesos, aunque logré conseuir un "taxi pirata" (un tipo que usa su coche como si fuera taxi, pero cobra menos) del aeropuerto de Monterrey, fue divertido. Mientras estaba en la ciudad, tuve la oportunidad de ver el TEC original. Es parecido al de Guadalajara pero más grande. La seguridad allí es un poco más ligera (no sé si está bien dicho así), hay que mostrar su credencial al guardia en lugar de pasar un torniquete electrónico como los de Guadalajara.
La cuidad parece divertido, un poco norteamericana como se dice pero se nota que es mexicana. Fuimos a una cantina cuestionable y a una disco que se llamaba Havana que estaba concurrido con la gente élite. Por los días fuimos a un par de museos, una exposición que me gustó era de películas experimentales por un hombre de Irlanda del Norte (Reino Unido) el nombre de cual no me acuerdo. Hablando de que, Protaganicé una película experimental dirigida por Jonny para su clase (por lo menos mis pies la protaganizaron). En conjunto, fue un descanso relajante, pero el calor me mataba allá.

I'm not sure what this pillar is for but apparently it's respected art.
No estoy seguro para qué sirve este pilar pero aparentemente es arte respetado.

Like a porn version of Trafalgar Square.
Como la versión porno de Trafalagar Square de Londres.

Museum grounds or Venice in Mexico?
¿El local del museo o Venecia en México?

These dinosaurs in the art gallery shop were obviously already like this, I swear I wouldn't be so childish as to arrange them in this way.
Estos dinosaurios en la tienda de la galería de arte obviamente ya estaban así, te lo juro que yo no sería tan infantil para arreglarlos así.

Cockroaches
My new house has something of a cockroach problem, this was greatly reduced when the house was fumigated but there are still a few, yesterday I caught the first one that I have seen enter my bedroom. It had a particularly nasty death, first I tried poisoning it with Raid then when it got out into the open I gave it a good whacking with the shoe. Cruel, but that’s what happens when one intrudes into my bedroom.

Cucarachas
Mi casa nueva tiene un problema de cucarachas, se redujo mucho como consecuencia de fumigar la casa pero quedan algunas, ayer pillé la primera que tuve el coraje de entrar en mi habitación. Tuvo una muerte desagradable, primero intenté envenenarla con Raid luego cuando entró el espacio libre, la aplasté con un zapato. Cruel, pero así son las consecuencias de entrar sin autorización en mi cuarto.

Theatre
This week saw the presentation of the play we have been planning for such a long time now. My dramatic debut in Spanish was not a complete failure, though I do feel I could have done much better, I have a clip for you to watch but it’s not subtitled or anything. Click here.
Teatro
Esta semana debuté como actor en español, presentamos la obra que hemos estado ensayando por tanto tiempo. No fracasé completamente pero siento que pude haberlo hecho mejor. Tengo este extracto para que lo veas. Haz clic aquí.

Other work
Jesse and I took a class called “Communication Skills 3” this semester, we didn’t really learn much but it was a fun class. For our final project we chose to make a video as a creative alternative to doing a traditional piece of work*. You can watch it here.
Another interesting class I took this semester was “Culture and Thoughts about Mexico” for which I have had to write some essays, I’ve put them here so you can read them (or even plagiarise them if you want).
E1/ Discrimation E/2 Massacre 1968 E3/Women
*To get out of having to write an essay.

Otro trabajo
Jesse y yo llevábamos una clase nombrada “Destrezas Comunicativas 3” este semestre, no aprendimos mucho pero era divertido. Para nuestro proyecto final hicimos un video como una alternativa creativa a hacer un trabajo tradicional*. Lo puedes ver aquí.
Otra clase interesante que llevaba fue “Cultura y Pensamiento de México” para la cual he tenido que escribir unos ensayos, están puestos aquí si los quieres leer (o plagiar si te dan las ganas).
E1/Discriminación E2/Matanza 1968 E3/Mujeres
*Para evitar hacer un ensayo.

Ayer Teresita y yo fuimos a un parque de diversiones, está aquí en Guadalajara pero nunca había ido antes. Había muchos juegos y atracciones, hicimos diez. Primero un atracción de dinosaurios donde tenían dinosaurios mecánicos y un guía (posiblemente el hombre menos interesado en su trabajo que he visto jamás) contándonos monótonamente de cada uno. Luego subimos el Titán, una montaña rusa y después The Bat Flyer una maquina grande que nos agitó mucho seguida de una montaña rusa más, Tornado y luego una más pequeña que realmente era para niños. Luego fuimos a comer y después adentro de un cuerpo humano, Alicia con guía (Bueno un cuerpo fingido). A continuación subimos los troncos, otra vez el Titán y luego entramos en una casa chueca en donde había muchas cosas raras como una silla flotando. Por supuesto todo debido a una ilusión óptica y a la posición de gravedad. Por fin entramos en la mejor casa de fantasmas que he visto jamás, todo oscuro (u obscuro si eres mexicano) y tenía buenos actores como nuestros guías demonios que tenían que darnos miedo, en algunos casos funcionó, unas chicas corrieron de la casa temprano. El pase costó $130 pesos (£6.50/€9.50) e incluyó todos los juegos y la comida. Una ganga absoluta en comparación con ellos del Reino Unido.
Tristemente en algún momento polvo se pegó con mi cámara o se rascó la lente porque hay una mancha negra en la parte superior derecha en la mayoría de mis fotos. No he podido solucionarlo tampoco, limpié la lente pero no hizo ninguna diferencia. 

Moments before I was told cameras werén't allowed.
Momentos antes de saber que no se peritían cámaras.
Not sure how PC the sign on the bathroom was.
No estoy seguro de lo políticamente correcto de la señal del baño.

Last week David kicked me out of the house. Actually it wasn’t quite like that, what happened is that Lalo, his old flatmate told him that he would move back into the house and pay half of the rent for the house. This is a lot of money, and more than Rodrigo and I, his humble lodgers currently pay. I searched in many places but in the end I moved to a place just down the road. Now I pay just $1600 (£80) a month. The first night I had no internet at home but they have told me the password so now I have. In the house there is a kitchen that has everything, although this morning I found out that like all Mexicans, they use the oven as though it were a cupboard. There are two toilets and showers and my room is very nice.

La semana pasada David me echó de casa, bueno realmente no fue por nada que había hecho sino porque Lalo su compañero de casa anterior le dijo que regresaría y pagar la mitad del alquiler de la casa, el cual es más que lo que pagábamos Rodrigo y yo, sus humildes inquilinos. Buscaba en muchos lugares pero siempre me he mudado a una casa que está a 5 cuadras de mi casa vieja. Ahora pago sólo $1600 (£80, €108) por mes. Mi primer noche, no tuve Internet en casa pero me han dicho la clave entonces actualmente si tengo. En la casa hay una cocina que tiene todo lo que necesito, aunque hoy en la mañana supe que como todos los mexicanos usan el horno como si fuera un armario. Hay dos baños y duchas y mi cuarto esta muy agradable.

Ahh Easter a special time of the year for all Christians. Catholic Mexico is no exception and has 4 days of rituals. The people have to mourn Christ all weekend from Thursday until Saturday night before they can celebrate his resurrection on Sunday. This is all of course very important for me; more important still however is eating chocolate eggs. Easter eggs are not common in Mexico, far from the shelves having been lined with eggs ever since New Year like in the UK, Mexico doesn’t make a big deal out of Easter eggs, this is one sacred tradition they simply don’t have. I did eventually manage to find some Easter eggs on Easter Sunday (yes, people work on Easter Sunday and the shops are strangely open and buses running as normal) in US owned supermarket Walmart. The choice however was very limited to a choice of two different eggs, which rather than being in a box with chocolate bars like in England they were wrapped in foil. Never having been a person that finds decisions easy I of course bought both of the eggs. A nice surprise was that the chocolates were actually inside the egg, which itself was sealed rather than the “two halves wrapped together with chocolate at the side” lazy method that is becoming more common at home. The chocolate itself was nothing special but by no means bad.

Ahh pascua, un tiempo muy especial para todos los cristianos. El catolico mexico no es ninguna excepcion con sus 4 dias de rituales. La gente debe llevar luto por Cristo todo el fin de semana a partir del jueves hasta el sabado en la noche antes de que pueden celebrar su resurrección el domingo. Obviamente todo esto es muy importante para mí. Más importante aún, sin embargo es comer huevos de chocolate. Los huevos de pascua no son muy comunes en México, lejos de tener todos los estantes llenos de huevos desde el nuevo año como en el RU, México no hace caso de los huevos de pascua, es una tradición sagrada que simplemente no tienen. Eventualmente logré encontrar algunos el día de pascua (si, las tiendas abren y los autobuses van como lo normal) en la tienda norteamericana Walmart. La selección sin embargo fue muy limitada con solo dos huevos diferentes. En cambio de estar en caja con barras de chocolate a su lado como en Inglaterra estaban envueltos en papel. De nunca haber sido una persona que le resultan fácil las decisiones compré los dos. Una sorpresa buena fue que los chocolates estaban adentro del huevo cuyos dos lados estaban pegados más que el método perezoso “dos partes separados envueltos en papel con chocolate al lado” que está llegando a ser lo mas común en casa. El chocolate no fue nada especial pero tampoco mal.

Do you remember the film “The Shawshank Redemption”? The character Andy tells Red that if he ever got out of prison, he would go to Zihuatanejo.

     “Little place right on the

     Pacific. You know what the Mexicans

     say about the Pacific? They say it

     has no memory. That's where I'd

     like to finish out my life, Red. A

     warm place with no memory. Open a

     little hotel right on the beach.

     Buy some worthless old boat and fix

     it up like new. Take my guests out

     charter fishing.”

Last weekend, the start of Semana Santa (Easter week) we went to Zihuatanejo. The place is really two resorts in one with beach Ixtapa only a ten minute bus ride away. Zihuatanejo itself is a fairly quiet fishing village, though if the hostel guests are anything to go by also popular for surfing. The beach in Zihuatanejo is divided in two by a long but pretty walkway across the rocks parting the two sandy beaches. We had a great time, nice and calm all the way. In Ixtapa there was a guy with a crocodile on the beach so I had my picture taken with it. Another animal related incident was the cute bald dog we saw in a bar we went too. Speaking of bars, in Zihuatanejo the bars stay cheap like they are inland (10 pesos / 50p a bottle) unlike Puerto Vallarta where they charge foreign prices (45 pesos/ £2.25). We didn’t actually spend as much time relaxing on the beach as one might expect as we burnt ourselves in the space of four hours on Sunday morning. Afterwards we tried to limit our exposure to mornings and afternoons. One of afternoon in particular was good fun; we went and swam in the sea as the sun was setting.

Zihuatanejo

¿Se acuerdan de la película “The Shawshank Redemption” (Titulo en México: Sueño de Fuga)? El personaje Andy le dice a Red que si escapara de la prisión iría a Zihuatanejo.

“Pequeño lugar en el pacifico. ¿Sabes lo que dicen los Mexicanos del pacifico?Dicen que no tiene memoria. Allá me gustaria terminar la vida, Red. Un lugar que no tenga memoria. Abriría un hotel chiquito en la playa. Compraría una barca sin valor y la restauraría. Iría de pesca con mis huéspedes.” 

Durante los primeros días de semana santa fuimos a Zihuatanejo. El lugar es 2 x 1 porque la playa Ixtapa está a diez minutos en autobús. Zihuatanejo es un pueblo tranquilo de pescadores, aunque si los huéspedes del hostel son algo guiarse por también es popular para el surf. La playa esta dividida en dos partes por una pasarela larga pero bonita que atraviesa las rocas entre las playas. Nos divertimos, todo tranquilo. En Ixtapa había un hombre con un cocodrilo en la playa con tal que me tomó una foto con él. Otro suceso que tiene que ver con animales es el perro lampiño y lindo que vimos en un bar. Hablando de que los bares en Zihuatanejo son baratos como en el interior (10 pesos por botella) en cambio a los de Puerto Vallarta donde cobran precios extranjeros (45 pesos). No pasamos tanto tiempo en la playa como se puede esperar puesto que nos quemamos en el espacio de 4 horas el domingo. Desde entonces limitábamos nuestra exposición al sol a las mañanas y tardes. Una tarde en particular estuvo divertido, nadábamos en el mar cuando se puso el sol.  

Like Steve Irwin, but alive. (Como Steve Irwin, pero vivo.)

a a

This week in Guadalajara there is a cinema festival. Having not been all week I went today, the penultimate day to see a film called Eros una vez María (Once upon a María). The film was pretty funny though unexpectedly there were English subtitles which I found more annoying (due to their very USA slang nature) than helpful. I tried not to read them but on the occassions that I did I found myself thinking "I wouldn't have translated it like that". Anyway back to the film, it was hugely entertaining and not too long, there were also lots of pretty faces in it, which always helps. Best of all though, the director and the majority of the leading actors showed up to present the film. If I had taken my camera I would have taken photos, sadly though I forgot to do so. I did, however get to talk to the director, Jesús Magaña Vázquez. More information click here.

Esta semana en Guadalajara hay un festival de cine. De no haber ido aún, el día de hoy (el penúltimo) fui a ver una película que se llama Eros una vez María. El filme se me hizo chistoso aunque de modo inesperado había subtítulos en inglés que encontré mas fastidiosos (debido a sus modismos gringos) que útiles. Intentaba no leerlos pero las pocas veces que los lei, pensé "no lo habría traducido así". Ni modo. Me gusto mucho la película y no demasiada larga, había muchas guapas también, que siempre conviene. Lo mejor de todo fue que el director y la mayoria de los actores vinieron  al pase. Si hubiese traido mi cámara habría tomado unas fotos, lamentablemente la olvidé. No obstante hable con el director, Jesús Magaña Vázquez. Más información haz clic aqui.

This limousine used to be an aeroplane, obviously. Esta limusina era avion, obviamente.

On Thursday I went to Puerto Vallarta, where I met up with Jonny, a friend from my Spanish class at UCLan (Preston University) and his friends from his uni, TEC de Monterrey, Campus Monterrey. We had a really good time lying around on various beaches and meeting folk in the hostel. We ate out every day I reasonably priced places ranging from taco stands to Mexican restaurants and a Chinese one. The trip didn’t do much for my Spanish as I spoke English the whole time but it was good fun although I got sunburned. I took loads of photos, a selection of which are here for you to look at.

The original plan was that I would come back on Monday ready to go to class on Tuesday but in the end instead of going to class I stayed an extra day and went to the beach again where I made a start on the new Basil Bond film. After sitting in the hostel and playing cards (and losing badly) I left on Tuesday night, travelling through the night arriving back in Guadalajara on Wednesday morning, completely knackered due to my inability to sleep on buses.

El jueves fui a Puerto Vallarta donde lo vi a Jonny, un amigo de mi clase de español en UCLan (mi universidad en RU) y sus amigos de su universidad aquí, el TEC de Monterrey, campus Monterrey. Lo pasamos muy bien relajando en varias playas y conociendo gente en el hostal. Íbamos a comer todos los días en lugares baratos desde los puestos de tacos hasta unos restaurantes mexicanos y un chino. El viaje no ayudaba mi español mucho porque hablaba inglés todo el tiempo pero me divertía aunque me quemé. Tomé muchas fotos, una selección de cuales están aquí para que las vean.

El plan original era que volvería el lunes listo para mi clase el martes pero siempre me quedé otro día y fui a la playa donde empecé con el nuevo cortometraje de Basil Bond. Después de jugar a cartas en el hostal (y perder) salí el martes por la noche viajando por la noche, llegando a Guadalajara el miércoles en la mañana con mucho sueño debido a mi inhabilidad de dormir en autobuses.

The trip didn't start so well as not only did I have to travel 5 and a half hours on the bus but I had to wait a further two in the emptiest airport in the world whilst I waited for Jonny. El viaje no empezo muy bien no solo tuve que viajar 5.30 horas en autobus sino le tuve que esperar a Jonny dos más en el aeropuerto menos concurrido del mundo.

Me, Jonny, his friends and hostel acquaintence Alex in chinese restaurant "The Red Dragón" Jonny, Yo, Sus Amigos, y conocida Alex del hostal.

My last night. Mi última noche.

Last night I made myself this delicious burger and fries, despite the fact I had no burgers and no fries. How did I do this? You may wonder. Well a good magician never reveals his trick, but since I was always bad at magic I’m going to reveal my method.

Preparation time: about 10 minutes.

Ingredients:

Minced beef

Mustard

Salt*      

Pepper*

Garlic powder*

Breadcrumbs^

A potato

A burger bun

Lettuce (optional)

Cheese (optional, but almost essential)

Ketchup

Cooking oil

Necessities:

Chip pan

Frying pan

Plate

* Probably tastes good even if you don’t have these ingredients.

^ If you have no breadcrumbs try mashing up cornflakes or even rich tea biscuits (worked when Tere’s mum made them)

Put the chip pan on to heat, then peel and slice your potato into fry (is that the singular of ‘fries’?) sized pieces.

Take the minced beef (the amount you use forms the basis of the size of your finished burger, I only used a small amount and my burger was still huge), mustard, garlic powder, salt, pepper and breadcrumbs and mix them together into a kind of meaty dough. As a quantity guide, I recommend about one and a half heaped dessert spoonfuls of mustard, one heaped spoon of breadcrumbs and the other ingredients according to personal taste (I didn’t use much). Flatten this (I just used my hand) so it looks something like a raw burger.

By the time you have done this the oil in your chip pan should be hot enough so put your fries in to cook. Next take a frying pan and put a little oil in there then put it on a lit hob. As soon as it is hot enough (typically no more than 30 seconds) put your burger in to cook. Now, get your bread bun and put a blob of ketchup on either side (on the internal sides) and then put your lettuce and cheese on top of the lid. Turn your burger over in the pan, all being well it should have browned nicely on the side you left to cook. Go and check your fries as they are probably ready to come out of the chip pan now. If so take them out. Next check your burger. When it looks ready take it out and place it on the lower bread bun and then close your burger. Put everything on a plate and with a big blob of ketchup on the side, it’s ready to eat.

Ayer hice esa hamburguesa deliciosa, a pesar del hecho que no tenía hamburguesas ni papas a la francesa (patatas fritas). ¿Cómo es posible? Se preguntan. Un buen mago nunca revela sus trucos, ya que siempre he sido muy malo para la magia voy a revelar mi método.

Tiempo de preparación: más o menos 10 minutos.

Ingredientes:

Carne molida (picada)

Mostaza

Sal*

Pimienta negra*

Ajo molido*

Pan molido^

Una papa (patata)

Un panecillo (estilo para hamburguesa)

Lechuga (opcional)

Queso (opcional, pero casi esencial)

Catsup

Aceite vegetal o de oliva

Necesidades:

Una freidora

Sartén

Plato

* Probablemente sepa muy buena incluso si no tienes estos ingredientes.

^ Si no tienes pan molido, muele corn flakes (hojuelas/copos de maíz) o tal vez galletas (sirvieron cuando la mamá de Tere las hizo)

Enciende la freidora, luego pelar la papa y cortarla en pedazos en forma de papas a la francesa.

Mezcla la carne picada (no se necesita mucha, usé poco y la hamburguesa resultó grande) mostaza, ajo, sal, pimienta y pan molido en un tipo de masa de carne. Como guía de cantidad, recomiendo una cucharada colmada y media de mostaza, una cucharada colmada de pan y los otros ingredientes al gusto (no usé mucho). Aplasta la mezcla par que se parezca a una hamburguesa cruda.

Ya habrá calentado el aceite de la freidora por lo tanto, mete las pepas a cocinar. Luego toma un sartén y mete un poco de aceite y luego ponlo en la estufa (quemador). En cuanto se haya calentado (típicamente no más que 30 segundos) mete la hamburguesa. Siguiente agarra el panecillo y pon salsa de tomate en los dos lados (interiores) luego pon la lechuga y queso el la tapa. Voltea la hamburguesa en el sartén, el otro lado ya habrá dorado. Comprueba las papas, es probable que ya estén listas. Siendo así sácalas. Luego comprueba la hamburguesa, cuando parezca lista sácala y métela adentro del panecillo.  

Pon todo en un plato y añade un montón de catsup, y ya esta lista.

Today I went to Parque Agua Azul (Blue Water Park) the park that I tried to go to the other day but couldn’t get in. It’s really close to my house (about ten minutes on the bus) so I don’t really know why I hadn’t gone before. I could write a long description about but as they say pictures speak louder than words so here are plenty.

Later in the afternoon I went to watch a film called “Utopía” in the U de G (Universidad de Guadalajara), one of the public universities in Guadalajara. I went with an American classmate but she decided about ten minutes into it that it wasn’t her kind of film and rather rudely left me on my own. This must be an acceptable American thing to do, as Jesse did the same thing when we went to see “Volver” last semester.

El día de hoy, fui a Parque Agua Azul, el parque que quería visitar el otro día. Esta muy cerca de mi casa (unos diez minutos en autobús) así que no sé porque no había ido antes. Podría escribir mucha descripción acerca del parque pero como dicen una foto dice más que mil palabras aquí hay muchas.

Luego fui a ver una película que se llama “Utopía” en el U de G (Universidad de Guadalajara), una de las universidades publicas de Guadalajara. Fui con una compañera de clase norteamericana pero ella decidió después de diez minutos que no le iba a gustar la película y maleducadamente, se fue. Esto debe ser una cosa socialmente aceptable en EEUU porque Jesse hizo lo mismo cuando fuimos a ver “Volver” el semestre pasado.

I found the sign for the toilet quite amusing.

El letrero del baño me parecía divertido.

This weekend Teresita came to visit me, well actually she came cos she wanted to help her sister by going to a dinner that she had organised to help kids with cancer. So Friday night that's what we did. I arrived to the dinner underdressed, I hadn't realised it was a formal affair and although I was wearing quite a nice casual shirt the jeans really did let it down a bit. Thankfully there were